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apache relay
02:04
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Juanita, things aren't going as smoothly as I'd hoped. I try to catch my breath, but I only choke. In my head I walk through Zachary's old neighborhood. I need another warm reminder that I didn't always feel this way. I didn't always feel this way. It's shitty how it all turned with the things that we don't talk about. Our parents, they did their best, but it won't stop the aching in our chests. Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough. I know I can be an asshole, but I'm growing up on borrowed time. How can I love someone when I don't love myself?
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Waking up this morning was the hardest thing I've had to do (I know I should have seen this coming, but I had no idea). I can't stand my own lack of understanding of how to make someone happy. This house doesn't feel the same without you to make it home (I did this to myself again). I can't stand on my own feet without you there to hold them down. The things you said, and the things I meant are worth forgetting. They're worthless. Everything that I say takes a different part of me, and everything that I've lost still feels so lost. Part of me wishes things were the same. Part of me knows that I am to blame. You said you loved me like I loved you, now I know that isn't true. That one room I wish I could forget. You turned your back to save your face.
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